It’s 3pm and you are eagerly waiting in the school pick up line to greet your child. She bounds into the back seat as you greet her with a smile and exuberantly ask, “Did you have a good day?!” Her response is a lack luster, “Yeah.” Or, maybe you’ve rushed home after that last work meeting, stopped to pick up pizza and sit down to dinner to ask your middle schooler, “Did your team win?!” He responds with a mumbled, “No.”
If you’re a parent or caregiver, there is a good chance you have been in this situation before. Parents yearn to know more about their children and it is a disappointing when questions are met with short responses. In the therapy room while working with families, we spend a lot of time listening to the types of questions that parents tend to ask their children. We find that a majority of these questions are close-ended and with some simple modifications they can be altered to garner a more elaborate response.
So, what is the difference between close-ended and open-ended questions? Close-ended questions can be answered with a one-world response. The risk with these questions, as seen above, is that they are often not met with much elaboration. Here are some examples of close-ended questions:
Open-ended questions, on the other hand, require more thought and introspection and are not often answered with one or two words. The goal of open-ended questions is to gather information and keep a conversation going. A general rule of thumb is that we can change close-ended questions to open-ended by using “who”, “what”, “where”, “when”, “why” or “how” to the question.
Do you see how the second set of questions are very similar but could generate a much different response? Asking open-ended questions is simple strategy that lead to deeper conversations with your child.
Are you looking for more ways to build a better relationship with your child or increase your confidence in your parenting skills? Parent Consultation is a type of clinical service that is offered by many of the providers at CBT Westport and can equip you with a tailored parenting roadmap that works for you and your family.