Part 2: Emotion Regulation in Kids

How Parents can Help Foster Emotion Regulation

Last week, we laid out the definition of emotion regulation and provided context for what it looks like across the different stages of childhood. Now that you know why it is important that kids of all ages develop these skills, this week we dive into some practical ways to help foster emotion regulation.

Begin within

In order to help our children develop better emotion regulation, parents have to first begin working on their own skill set. Parental modeling of effective coping behavior is one of the best ways to teach children. You can often identify meaningful patterns in emotional reactions by taking time to observe yourself.

  • Identify your triggers: Use a diary or your phone to record situations during the day that trigger your own emotions. What is happening in the environment? What emotion is your child expressing? What are you feeling? What are your thoughts about the situation?
  • Understand your triggers: Why might you be having this particular reaction to your child? Is this a pattern that you experience with other people in your life? Can you recall feeling this way as a child yourself?
  • Focus on your own needs before responding: Pause. Take a breath. Take a break. Take a Parents who respond to their own emotional needs before reacting to their child are more likely to effectively model emotion regulation skills in real-time.

Example: A mom who becomes frustrated at work when a co-worker is ignoring her input on a project is also likely to become irritated when they need to repeatedly ask their child pick up their shoes off the floor. After asking two or three times, she becomes explosive in anger. Asking herself the above questions, she realizes that not feeling heard triggers a bigger emotional response. To combat overreacting in anger at the shoes on the floor, she takes a minute before entering the house to do some deep breathing.

Use What you Have

One of the best ways to help build emotion